Family is a gift given by God to every human being. Maintain and preserve the family unit is the thing that should always be considered. In a family we need each other meningisi each other. All differences of opinion or habit both should be mutually understood that families can live in harmony.
Fostering a harmonious family is the common task of family members. Adjustment in the family needed for a peaceful family and no place in fighting which can disrupt family harmony.
Many among the people we see on divorce, it all happened in the absence of mutual understanding and adjustment that is not good.
Essentials of Family Harmony
Harmonies are a mix of various colors of characters that make up the power of the existence of an object. The combination is what makes any color bias fit into a series of beautiful and harmonious.
Black color, for example, if standing alone would create the impression of bleak and cold. Rarely people like black color stand-alone basis. But, if combined with white, will give its own style which eliminates bias impression was bleak and cold. The combination of black and white if it were nicely laid out will create the impression of dynamic, passionate, and warm.
Such was the household should be managed. Household is a mix between the various colors of characters. There are characters of men, women, children, even in-laws. And not a single human being in this world who can guarantee that all the characters were all perfect. There must be advantages and disadvantages.
It will not form a beautiful rhythm without harmony between low and high tones. Low high tone was able to bring the millions of beautiful songs.
In the household, all the advantages and disadvantages of each chime. Sometimes the husband who pitched low, sometimes high-pitched wife. This is where the husband and wife are required to create harmony by filling vacancies which exist in between them. So, families are families that live harmoniously in peace.
Keluaga harmony is the responsibility of husband and wife, not just the wife or husband alone. Families can be harmonious, husband and wife can get along if each appreciate what is on their partner. The problem there is no 100% compatibility is not unusual for a husband and wife are two different people, raised by keluraga different, for mutual understanding is necessary for both parties to adjust. Women should be able to make their partner feel needed in a moral, not material, do not expect too much will be our partner, as he was not able.
There is no such thing as nature of women under their husbands. Husband and wife are parallel, the partners who run the ark united with each other households. Decisions are taken by consensus agreement and the division of household tasks shared equally and mutually accountable. Husband and wife is like a puzzle, the pieces complement each other. If there are pieces that do not fit or is lost then the puzzle is not complete, so that household.
Husband and wife need to spend time together as a re-honeymoon, or far apart for a while so there will be a sense of missed each other when apart.
Households that are not harmonious, it is not supposed to be the responsibility of a wife to mengharmoniskannya back. If a mother thinks so because the maternal instinct was not willing the children should suffer the consequences of domestic turmoil that we should be able to control it well. If it had been a mismatch can not be repaired again, and split is considered the best way, better separation of the children live in families that are not in harmony, children are entitled raised in peace.
Divorce is not always bad, especially if the parents after divorce relationship is still good. Children will still feel the love and will learn to accept reality without getting hurt.
Function Function of Family Harmony
In a harmonious family, there are several family functions that must be met or achieved by each member of the family, such as:
a. Valentines Function
In the family, husband and wife must give each other love, attention, appreciation, encouragement and love. If husband and wife have children, then they as parents have to give love a full accordance with the needs of each child. Love of parents who received child affect the personality so that children tend to give love to others, especially his own family.
b. Economic Functions
Family is an independent economic unit to meet the needs of family members. Husband and wife have to meet those needs by working hard, kosher, and sincere. If there are deficiencies, then family members must understand each other so there is no dispute that resulted in lack of harmony in family life.
c. Function Status
Family gives prestige / status of its members, because the family could have known his kindness, piety, wealth, and so forth, so that family members were biased in their environment given the title, he came from a pious, or various other titles.
d. Education Functions
In families of husband and wife are responsible for guiding and educating their children and provide the opportunity for children to get a decent education, so that the child’s family can appreciate their parents after acquiring knowledge in school environments.
e. Religious Functions Family should always instill the basis of religion on family members, especially children. With the basis of religion that both children would know what their obligations as a child, as well as their parents.
f. Protection Functions <All family members are responsible to always protect parents provide physical and psychological protection to children. Conversely after children are grown she is also responsible for protecting their parents g. Creative Functions
In family is necessary to create a refreshing atmosphere of recreation situation thoughts and feelings so that children can have fun and relax with his sister and their parents, and can increase the intimacy of family members.
So, if a family member has fulfilled the function, it will create a family yanbg peaceful, safe, full of color commonly referred to family harmony.
D. Criteria for Family Harmony
There are several criteria for achieving harmonious family success in adjustment in the family:
a. Happiness Husband and Wife
Husband and wife are happy to obtain satisfaction from the role they lakoni together. They also have a mature and steady love each other. They also can accept the role as parents after obtaining child.
b. Good relationships between children and parents
Good relationships between children and parents reflects the success of adjustment in the family, and this can create a family atmosphere marked by love, mutual respect and open with each other.
c. A good adjustment of children
If the child can adjust to the environment and their peers, it can reflect that in his family achieved success in a good adjustment between family members so that the properties had been brought to its environment.
d. The ability to obtain satisfaction from the difference of opinion
Differences of opinion among family members is inevitable, usually a difference of opinion was ended with one of the possibilities:
1. The existence of tension without breaking
2. One of the budge for the sake of peace
3. Each family member trying to understand each other’s views and opinions of others.
In a third possibility of a harmonious family that would do the mutual understanding and respect other people’s opinions.
e. Togetherness in Families
If successful adjustment within the family, harmony keluargapun will awake, a harmonious family always took the time to gather with family members and try to always keep the familiarity among members of the family.
f. Good adjustment in financial trouble
In family is usually a source of dispute is a matter of finances. Families need to learn how to spend revenues obtained for tar Hinder of undesirable things and can feel the satisfaction of the work done. It could also in this case the wife helps her husband to supplement family incomes.
g. A good adjustment of the family of each pair
If husband and wife have a good relationship with each partner’s family party, for example in-law and brother in law of each partner, will most likely be spared from family tensions, money can cause strife could even end up with relationships that are not good.
E. Causes of disharmony in the family
The cause of this inharmonious family can be described in some points, such as:
1. Economic Issues
Economic or financial problems often lead to disputes within the family, especially husband and wife. The wife was sometimes difficult in the financial divide is not the same as spending this income if not interpreted and understood by both parties can lead to unwanted things in the family, and can even lead to divorce.
2. Role in the Family
Husband and wife have their own role in a family, but sometimes they do not understand it, causing a sense of mutual meyalahkan. For example, in the care of children, sometimes husbands surrender entirely to the wife so that if there are mistakes made by children, then the wife is blamed and is tri unbiased take it that eventually led to quarrels.
3. Can not accept that there are deficiencies in the pair
4. Lack of attention and affection
If the family member is missing the attention and affection, then the family will feel barren. Family members felt the lack of a comfortable life if they are at home, making family connections are growing tenuous.
Difference of opinion is not something that should be debated, but sometimes this is not addressed. Each person wants pendaptnya received, giving rise to tensions that have nothing to get the solution at hand.
6. Sexual adjustment
Many adults feel sexual satisfaction is not met because the state was experiencing at home or interfere with children’s behavior in variety, so that relationships within the family members are less harmonious.
7. Relationships with family members who are not good mate
8. Relationships with children who can not be maintained kerukunannya caused wishes of parents who are not met by the child, which can cause a sense of disappointment for both parties.
Sense of disappointment and discontent could face each person. Can an individual, can also missal. Can be simple, and can be devastating. Disappointment can indeed cause all kinds, with different levels.
Disappointment that fosters would be fatal. Moreover, if not just hit the individual.
A father would be disappointed if they see their children do not follow his advice. Instead, the boy was disappointed to not see her father because of his will. If sustained, the bias so ladies love relationship father-son forgotten. Both also can be hostile. There are children of parents upset because her request was fulfilled. In fact, the material may not request that was rejected. But, time is not right. Conversely, there are parents who once heard the request of her son, instantly angry. In fact, he actually still would grant her request. His anger was only because it is the soul of the father so. These are things that cause family disharmony.
F. Tips for Creating Family Harmony
There are several things that must be considered to create household harmony, which are:
1. Do not look back
Do not bob up and down when early marriage reasons. “Why would I want to get married at that time with him huh? Why did not I refuse? “Throw away this thought trajectory.
The move was in no way will effect change. Instead, it will drag the disharmony which originated from trivial problem becomes complicated and tangled. If a sense of regret go on, it is possible disharmony leads to divorce. Therefore, face the reality that we face today. This is our problem. Do not run away from problems by looking backward. Or, na’udzubillah, imagining other figure out our mates. This will open the door so that the increasingly vicious poison our minds.
2. Thinking objectively
Sometimes, conflicts can drag other things that really are not involved. This happens because of conflicts addressed by emosioanl. Moreover, already involves a third party who knows the internal matters of the household is not in full. So, try to localize the problem on the fence. Great if the mapping problem is done with the cooperation of two parties to the dispute. Of course there will be a core problem that needs to be addressed.
For example, the problem is less income than the husband, do not be addressed so that the emotional drag other issues. For example, a husband who is not incompetent to find money or a husband accused of being lazy. If this happens, balikpun reaction occurs. The husband would shout that the wife nag, materialistic, and less understanding.
And if you want an objective, the problem of earning less biased disiasati with the cooperation of all parties in the household. There is a possibility, istripun come looking for income, even biased self-reliance as well as train the children.
3. See excess pairs, not vice versa
To develop a sense of optimism, look at the advantages our partners. Do the opposite, bob up and down shortage owned. The imagination of a body, bergantng on how we put the point of view. It may be materially and physically, our partners have many shortcomings. It was hard to find the excess. But, this is where his unique menage. How could a married couple who love each other can not have more than one child.
Meaning, there are one or two advantages that we hide from our partners. At least, he’s sincere intentions in assisting us because God has an incomparable advantages. Incredible value in the sight of Allah. Well, that’s where we look.
Over time, any shortcomings of our spouse is equipped with the advantages we have. Not even drop or weaken the spirit to change.
4. Include sakralitas housekeep
One of the most important foundation of a willing married is because of an adherence to the Shari’a of Allah. In fact, if according to calculations of matter, it weakens his menage. That’s where the value of the reward that God promises.
When the problem could hardly see the end of the base, return it to the owner of the problem, the Almighty. Pair your good sense would have thought to Allah. Look at the wisdom behind the problem. Insha Allah, there is good from all the problems we face. Do approach to the creator of universe, do not get bored pray, by praying to God, severe problems may appear mild and solutions will automatically appear in front of the eye.
5. Creating a pleasant family life and happiness
6. Ensuring a secure feeling in the next life
7. Conducting joint responsibility
8. demonstrate familiarity with the partner
9. Fostering relationships with children
10. Fostering closeness with other siblings
11. reinforce the values of life that really matter to life.
Family harmony is the family who live in peace all members of the mutual love and respect, love and grief faced together with the full ketulusan.Fungsi-family function is fulfilled by both for harmony in the family can terbina.
Causes of disharmony in the family is self pemyesuaian not good and could not understand each other antatra member of the family. Differences of opinion that happens dikeluarga exaggerated and lack of mutual respect.
Family harmony was able to adjust between fellow members of the family and each family menyayangi.Agar terbina keharmonisannya family can open with each other each other, do not look back and think objectively against fellow members of the family.
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